Leaving Day

Today came too fast.

It's late, and my bus for Madrid leaves in less than eight hours. But before then, I have a few things to wrap up before I head off to bed.

It really didn't hit me. I thought it would bit me earlier. I thought the last month I'd start to really feel the pressure, but no. It came about an hour ago or less, as I'm sitting here writing my host family a thank you note for everything they have done for me. For the family they have been, and everything they've shared.

You don't realize it until it's over. I don't know if it's a psycological thing, but you can't make the realization of everything coming to an end on your own. You can't realize how much time has past, until it's really over. You can't realize what you were living, until it's gone.

And with that, I'm not sure quite what to do. How do you write that thank you note? How can you just leave your room, looking over your shoulder and not know when you'll be back?

It's hard. This whole road has been hard.

Lately things have been quite crazy. Packing going home is much easier than coming over. You simply have your restrictions- two suitcases at 23kilos each, and have to fit your things into what you are allowed back. Everything else you just throw or send home in a box. I won't be sending a box home, and feel quite accomplished to be able to say that. I'll be taking two suitcases, a backpack, and camera bag home.

Never pack too fast though... I packed everything up pretty quick, and within all that packed my bus ticket to Madrid in with everything. Unpacking a suitcase later, it's found. I suppose I might need that...

The trip back to my old home Madrid will start in just a matter of hours. And then the reverse journey back.

The "current" exchange year will stop. But my blog won't. I'll be writing things that I've missed throughout the year, what's different when I go back, etc. There are quite a few stories that have yet to be shared. So please keep reading. I've kept a journal to write all these things down, so they're not lost. Writing is the best thing I've done. Because if you don't write, how else will you remember everything?

And the ultimate question. Are you ready to come home? Do you want to stay longer? My answer, is yes. I am ready to go home. Even though I'll miss things here, the day to return to my home has come. Things are thrown at us whether we like it or not. The difference is how we handle it. We are going home. It is going to happen. We can sit and complain all we want, but that won't change anything. It just makes it miserable for everyone else. So why take it in a bad way? There are plenty of good things upon our return.

We signed up for ten months, and not the rest of our lives. I am excited to see everyone again. When I left I knew that I would be coming back. And it's the same story here. I'll be back. It's just a matter of when. But for now, I have to go home. I'm ready to see what the next adventure brings.

A shout out to all the wonderful people who have helped me along the way. My family, friends, AFS volunteers, blog readers, those who have sent me emails, cards, etc. The support group has been incredible.

But as they say- the sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back.

Goodbyes are never fun. Never have been, never will be. And for this I don't say goodbye, because sometime along the way, there will be a hello... which eliminates the need for the ending of a goodbye.

Dear USA:

It's been awhile.

-mb

La Mascleta

Fourth of July just got owned. Sorry.

This past week was the Hogueras (Bonfire) Festival in Alicante. Sometime when I get the patience to sit down and explain it all, I'll be able to write an explanation. It's something that's hard to describe- you just have to see it for yourself.

Everyday this week at 2PM there was "La Mascleta" which is what the following video shows. The original is about 8 minutes long, but I cut it down to just the end. Throughout the week they have different presentations with the "damas y bellezas" (Alicante representatives). There are 91 "Hogueras" which are the monuments that are built specifically for hogueras, and burned on the 24th. There is an "hoguera" for every few neighborhoods or so.

The whole week was pretty crazy, with all the ceremonies, fireworks, fires, food, dancing, and more.

La Mascelta is famous for the ground trembling under your feet. The people come to feel the earth shake. There's not too much to see, but is really impressive in television from the sky view. Sound gets rather deafening. Turn volume on max for the most 'real' experience...

I think this is the closest I'll get to a war zone...

-mb

No Me Digas Adiós

The wonderful people who I've met along the way have signed my flag.
Unfortunately, when you're the photographer you can't be in the picture as well.

This past weekend was our final AFS Orientation for the Valencia chapter. After volunteering in the states and going to the orientations throughout the year, it's crazy to think time has gone by so fast. To think that it was our final orientation is rather...sad. The orientation was great, but it's just sad to know it was our last time together before we leave in just a matter of days.

There were only six of us who are currently on exchange, but about twenty or so more future AFSers were there too. Students who will be leaving this year came for their orientation. Many are just going for two months this summer (New Zealand has opposite school times) but there were a few going on a year exchange departing late summer. Talking to them reminded us how we were, just over ten months ago. The questions, fears, thoughts, etc.



AFSers of "today and tomorrow."



Even though so many new students were brought in, everyone got along really well. It was fun talking to them about exchange- the huge thing we all have in common. Starting conversation wasn't a problem, and by the end of the day we were all chatting as if we had known each other longer.



Our hostel- right on the beach. You can see the "dining room."



Of all the orientations I've been to, seen, or worked at- this was the prettiest location yet. Not only was the place super clean, but our hostel was right next to the beach. Absolutely amazing.

There's a game we played in New York before we headed out on our adventure. It seems to vary in name- but it goes more or less like this. There's two groups. The objective is for one group (A) to teach the other (B) that "changes are not right or wrong, but just different. And you can't judge when you don't understand"

The volunteers and current exchangers dressed up in quite...interesting costumes fulfilled with equally interesting makeup. We turned our meeting room into a "different, peaceful world." In this "new world", people live differently. They have their own language, and customs.

We set up "our world" as follows:

All girls have to sit on the floor without shoes.

All boys have to sit in chairs with shoes.

Our "language":

The equivalent to "yes" was mumbling "hmmhmmhmm" while shaking your head left to right.

The equivalent to "no" was "Shhhhhhh".

Everything else?- "Bluubluubluubluu"

So let's back up. The future AFSers (Group B) are told that they have free time while us volunteers and current exchange students (Group A) "secretly" changes the meeting room into this new place. We turned the lights off, lit candles, dressed up, put on make-up, and had the chairs in a circle. The group B knew nothing of what was going on during this time. We told them before hand to be at the meeting room at 9:20. They thought we were just in orientation.

Group B enters the meeting room. We are not allowed to talk to them minues the three options mentioned above. You can imagine how confused they were.

We had to sit the kids accordinly, with or without shoes, using our language. They were confused. Remember our "yes" is hmmm-ing while shaking your head in the "no" direction. Other things that were different was the greeting, and that boys were not allowed to touch their food, therefore had to be fed by the girls (the 'queen').

Afterwards we explained everything. We reviewed thoughts as group B tried to guess what the reason and rhyme was behind all of this. Women on the floor without shoes? Makes them below men, right?

Wrong.

Women in this case are considered to be "pure" and it is a priveledge to be able to have contact with the ground. This explains why they can touch food.

It's all exagerated of course. But the point was that there are differences you might not understand. And for this, you may not judge.

It was like "de ja vu" of New York. We played the same game in Madrid at our first orientation. Other things include writing our last "letter to selves." In the first orientation back in October, we wrote letters to read at the end of our exchange. This last orientation, we wrote letters to ourselves that they will send to us in a few months.

During the orientation, we talked about how when we go back home, is the time we will find out how much we have changed. That right now we still don't know.

I've changed, and I'm not back home yet. This continues to describe the "life changing experience" that we have just completed. It continues, even when we get back home.



View out our room from the hostel. This is one of the only times
I can say that I woke up, and the first thing I saw was a palm tree.



Again, the weekend flew. I don't remember any other weekend during this whole year that went by so fast.

But there was a stopping moment for me. A point that it hit me- We are going home, and life is moving on. The world doesn't stop time at all.

The parents that came of the students had a meeting. In this meeting of course- just like we do back in the states, profiles next year's AFSers are available to read. I walked in to get my bag, and there on the board were some of next year's kids.

Their name, what they like to do, how old they are, where they're from.

That was me once.

 

I remember reading them at orientations in the states. But now? It's like the icing on the top. This year has finished, and there's another yet to come. Incredible.

So that was our weekend. Another point on the timeline. Another event checked off the to-do list. And we are left not knowing what to think.

Has the year really gone this fast?

No me digas adiós. Don't tell me good-bye.

-mb

School's Out

It's June 16th, and we've finally finished school. Monday we return to pick up our grades and fun. The week's been pretty interesting, but more on that later. I was able to bring my pocket camera and finally snap a few pictures of the school. The classes. The desks. The chalkboards.

The place where we spend the majority of our time while on exchange.

The following classroom would win my vote for "most lively" if there was a competition.

It's our economy room.

FRONT.

The portable laptop, speakers, and I'm confused as to where the screen went. There IS a projector in this room. Amazing.



Back of room. There's a door at the front and the back.



Coat hangers and... a closet? These always confused me.



BACK.
Even though the bullitens are from last year,
this classroom has a chalkboard in the back of the room as well..



So that's the economy room. The next classroom is my 'science' class. It's also the music room, and the closest thing we have to a 'theater'...



Complete with a projector, you can even see our stage, too.



The biggest room in the school...I think.
And yes, there are a few left-handed desks for all you lefties as well.



So there's our school...more or less. I've posted pictures of the outside on another post back in the first few months of the year somewhere. Even all the way out here in Alicante, we have the EXACT same chairs and desks as we had in Madrid. They are famous or something... because nearly all the students I've talked with has them.



Hello, Spain. Land of people that tend to has this sort of 'pensamiento' that American schools are dangerous, and kids bring guns and keep them in their lockers. That we have metal detectors when we enter the school. But what's this here? A hook to keep your backpack hanging? That seems a lot more danguerous, having everything right at your side...
Since we don't have lockers, (or metal detectors) we bring our backpacks with us everywhere. And yes, you have to be aware of pickpockers even in school.



It really comes down to a few things. The United States is known for the number of people-gun ratio. And how easy it is to own one, in comparison to other countries. The second topic, is the government. Our government dishes out tons of money to our schools. Here in Spain, not so much. So the result is the difference.

I've had quite a few interesting conversations with my host parents, teachers, and students. There's a lot of things that cause a 'domino effect' in the school system. For example. The gate that surrounds the school- you have to get someone to open it for you. And sometimes, the secretary doesn't open it. Therefore, kids jump the fence, and sneak in and out. If they arrive late to class, they aren't allowed in. So many don't even come to begin with. But if you don't have a gate? Many think that no one would come to school, and only the kids who were really focused on their studies would come. Personally I think it would reduce stress to get into college... as there wouldn't be so much competition. And that those who don't want to study, won't. But here force is viewed as the answer. Force the kids to go to school, to keep them off the streets. That usually results in kids just...not coming at all. It's something that Spain is trying to fix at the moment.

Spain is in a crisis, more so than most of Europe- from what I've heard. There were a few newspaper articles talking about how this particular area of Spain has grown drastically in population- but there is no money to build more schools. Therefore, schools are croweded. A lot of students. My host mother told me the reason why they had to get rid of a few 'elective-like' classes was to use the rooms for the normal classes.

She also mentioned of how of course there is no work. Hence, crisis.

Let me explain.

Kids here finish their optional 11th and 12th grade, take a test, and hope to get into college. In the United States it's a competition to get to the really good colleges, away from home, right? Here it's a competition to go to the nearest college, in order to live at home. So, that gives you an idea of college students in Spain. They still live with their parents, and after..

There 'is no work' as the unemployment rate is about 20%. In the United States? 9%.

So it's very uncommon for students under (from what I can tell) 25 to work. To save money, they stay at home, and go to the local college.

Back to the school.

Teachers. My personal opinion is that 90% of them hate their job. They don't show up to class, aren't organized, and don't have any interest in helping students after class. I remember times they even made fun of students for not understanding. Things that wouldn't be accepted in my high school back in the states.

But there's no work. So if they leave their job, they have nowhere to go.

So the economic situation greatly influences the school, the atmosphere, and later the mentality of it all. It explains why there are no substitute teachers, school sports, or even school books. We have to buy our own books.

Books.

Let me make a quick note. Fahrenheit 451 was a book I read in 10th grade for English. It's based around the idea that all books are illegal. Here in the library, there are books. Not many, but some. They are locked up behind glass, and I've never even seen people use them.

A few random things. Let me add that graffitti on desks isn't removed- no matter what is written. It gets a bit disturbing. A reminder that this school does have the privledge of having toilet paper. However, you must go to the secretary to get some before entering the bathroom. Movies- movies are movies. The teacher asks if someone (for example) has a movie "with psycopaths", someone says yes, and brings it in. I don't know what movie it was in psycology, but it would not have been allowed under any condition in any high school in the United States whatsoever. I realized that we never even had to sign a permission slip to watch it.

Cultural Differences. We "americanos" are 'known' for having a sheltered life.

There are some things that are really weird at first. Really weird. But then it just becomes part of 'life.' And then we look back at our own culture and wonder- what? As not one or the other has the right to be "correct." They are just differences. And the circumstances influence how it's all different.

Cultural differences. What our world is made of.


I've learned a lot here.

-mb

Time is Flying

Seriously. Like, uh, when I wrote my last post, it was before our week of finals and complete chaos. We're past that, and more. So what now?

It's like looking at your reflection. We saw ourselves coming over, and now we look at ourselves going back. But we're not really ourselves anymore. We're different. And it's frightening. Thinking back to the first months is like looking at baby pictures. I've said it before. One year changes you.

I cannot believe time has gone by so fast. Surely some days are really long. But in the end? This year flew. And it flew so fast, I'm not sure if I even got to watch it go by.

And that, scares me.

[Not much has scared me this year. Besides the cockroaches, which are GIGANTIC!!!!!]

I am so thankful that I kept a journal of my adventure. My biggest regret is a lack of writing in my first three months. The day will come, and I'll have no idea what I did every month. Like March? What did I do then? There are a few parts of the year I feel like I lost. That never really happened. This is simply because I don't remember them. But for the most part I wrote things down, to remind myself later that it wasn't just a dream.

With school ending, it's starting to hit. Sink in. And it's not really the fact we are leaving... we'll be back. I'm sure of it. There is no doubt in my mind that we'll be back. What we are loosing in just a matter of days, is the exchange experience.

The exchange experience.

Oh my gooodness freaking gracious. What we have lived, breathed, thought about, loved (and sometimes hated) for so long (for more than just the time we've been here...) is going to come to an end. Another chapter in the book will be written, completed, and published. I know reading back at this, one day I'll give anything to be in the position I am now; writing my blog of the current news of my exchange year. There will come a day where I'll wish to go back in time, to this moment, when in all reality- I'm just typing. On my computer. In Spain, on exchange.

The countdown I've put up on my blog is starting to freak me out. I'll leave it though. Makes me make the best of my time left.

Which is now just... a long two week 'vacation' time. Not a hundred days. Not halfway. And sure enough, not the first three month mark.

As much as I know I'm going home to a great place, I have quite a few fears. The biggest being that I'll return, and it'll just feel like a dream. And it's true, what they say. You only remember the good things. This makes it a lot harder to be on the other side of the fence. It makes it a whole, lot harder.

Silly, I know. My biggest fear is that this whole year won't feel real.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm starting to feel like I was home just yesterday. That somehow, if I walk down the street long enough, I'll run into my American house, neighborhood, and everything is just so close. I don't know how it's possible to remember things more clearly- after more time, but it is.

And in a way, we've already finished the year. That's because so much less time remains. We can't make as many plans. They aren't so far away now. Heck, I'm starting to look for a second suitcase to bring home.

All the things they told us- It's a good experience. You should do this, but not this. And most of all- "how in the end, no matter how hard the road was, you'll appreciate it"... are true.

We cannot grasp the meaning during the ride. The end comes up on us, and yells in our face;

"This is it. Did you do it right? 'Cause there's no turning back now."

It reminds me of a sports team on a shoot out. An extra inning. Over time.

But paused.

You have the whole team, sitting there with there hands in their face, bent over- not knowing whether to cry in defeat or shout in happiness. Staring off, nervously waiting, thinking about what went wrong, and what went in their favor. There's sitting there waiting for the end result.

...For that last point, to win the game.



There's a quote I love. It goes something like- "Life's not about the destination, but the journey that takes you there along the way."

Which I couldn't agree with more. We didn't just go on exchange to learn a language. Or the fact to say we did it. We went for the journey. The end, what we take home is like a bonus.

But if we don't go home in two weeks and two days, when do we? When we're ready? So....when will that be? As much as it's sad to leave, we have to go home.

We signed up for ten months, not forever.

So when will we be ready? -is the ultimate question. If there wasn't a set date- when would we pick to come home? Before, or after?

Today I realized that next week starts my 'final week.' There's something in my mind that keeps telling me I'm not actually going back. That we're changing again. Starting all over, in a new place. That we will continue this long adventure for the rest of our lives, and going home is just a fantasy in a fairy tale. But July will roll around, and we'll be on our way home. But if this year has taught us anything, it should be this-

"When one door closes, another one opens. And sometimes those doors are slammed shut in your face- while the opened doors are rather hard to find. There are fake doors, trap doors, and others that lead to secret passage ways. It is our job to find those hidden doors, and persue the surprises that the other side brings."

-mb

Flashback- Top Memories of the Year

It's simply impossible to list every single amazing memory of this year that I've had so far. But here is an attempt to list a few of them to recap on how the year has gone.

 

Stopping through Switzerland- Yes, the journey over here itself was an awesome start to our adventure. The yellow shirts, card games, pictures, videos, security, orientation in New York City, the classic shouting of- "Airport numbers- GO!", and of course the awesome Swiss Chocolate (&being confused by the two currencies) made up one heck of a trip here, which is sure to be repeated going home. Blog link: JFK to Madrid and also the trip.

Getting lost in Madrid- Now, we never actually get lost. You just loose yourself with all the excitement of the everyday adventures, bustling streets, and never-ending activites going on.

AFS Orientations- The orientation in October was really fun. In the stages of getting to know each other- it was like the first stepping stone in the year.

Taking random pictures- This is much more fun than you think. End of story.

Picture credited to Jake Moser

The Ice Cream Cake- The strangest story ever, but we had a great time celebrating my & two other exchanger's birthdays at the amusement park in Madrid. Nothing like water rides in almost cold weather, and human pyramids.

Dumbledore's Army- All of us AFS kids got together to watch Harry Potter in theaters- in the nice original version, English. Before the movie some of us met in Retiro Park and say went all out to look just like the characters. We later went to go eat at the famous "Foster's Hollywood" which is an American restaurant that is the only place that gives free refills.

Searching for Snow- Possibly one of the most memorable events of the entire year. An AFS trip to the local mountains to go hiking and ultimately, searching for snow. We had to climb, but we eventually found some. What's winter without snow anyhow? Not only a beautiful trip, but a lot of fun with the whole group. Blog link: Searching for Snow

 

Thanksgiving- The stories and troubles of 1- finding a turkey, 2- preparing it, and 3- making everything else (when you're in a country that doesn't necesarily have the typical American Thanksgiving foods...) was a whole lot of fun. I think the funniest part was just listening to the Spaniards talk about how it'd be impossible to buy turkey's as big as the ones we described. We did however, find "The American Store."

Christmas in Madrid- I've never seen such a beautiful city lit up before. The big tree in the center of Sol is crazy impressive. This past Christmas really taught me some values on how lucky I am to have what I have. Blog link: A walk through Sol. and Navidad and also Lights.

The Royal Mysteries- We will never understand it, but this breadcrust is a 'very famous' piece of modern art from the Reina Sofia Museum. Along with some others. The elevator of this place is the best.

Birthday Surprise in Segovia- The Best. Surprise. Birthday. Party. Ever. Blog link: Segovia

Carnaval- Still need to blog about this one, but I went around McDonald's to see if I could get group pictures. A bit weird, but the reward is that you can actually see what it's all about. A festival bigger than Halloween, but people usually go with a group theme. And everyone dresses up from all ages. Everyone.

AFS North meets South- I was able to meet and see some AFSers that I hadn't seen since September while they came down for a vacation to Alicante. It was really nice to get together and visit again!

Home meets Home- I was able to meet up with my American school's annual 'Spain Trip' back in Madrid for a weekend. Being able to show my "home" my new "home" was awesome. It made me realize how much I'd grown since the beginning. But like- what's cooler than being with your Spanish teacher- IN Spain?!

Will you marry me?- My older host sister's wedding was a very cultural experience. And my job as photographer turned out to be a success. I had always wanted to photoshoot a wedding, and finally got the chance.

Mistakes- Life is full of them. But you learn from your mistakes, and grow. And when you grow, that's a highlight, right? So make mistakes. Try new things. Don't be embaressed. Remember, it's a part of life.

But as a last note, looking back at all this makes me realize how much filled up this year. I miss Spain, and I haven't even left yet...

-mb