The truth behind an exchange year which is hidden from everyone is this- there is no such thing as a typical or structured exchange year. But I'm not talking about the cheesy nonsense that you might hear in an orientation. I'm completely serious. And second most- going on exchange from the United States is nothing like going to the United States. They should as well be two, completely different things.
No matter what program you go with, this is the breakdown.
1.- Apply.
2.- Get accepted.
3.- Physically arriving to host country.
4.- School.
5.- Some-type-of-change-somewhere.
6.- Coming home.
Everything else inbetween is a freebee. Nothing, is guarenteed.
But the reason for me writing is due to the fact that that the above statement, is well overlooked.
"It's amazing it even works at all" is quoted from a conversation when talking about exchange. "You are placing a teenager in a completely different family, with a completely different culture, and taking them away from everything they know."
I'm currently in month nine of my exchange year. If you were to take a survery of the emotions of 500 exchange students, you would most likely end up with 500 different answers. Why? Because this is the time of cramming all the last minute things in, before heading home.
Home.
That's right. We will be heading back to our respective countries in only a matter of time. This whole time of preparation and being on exchange, will end. End in the sense of course that being an exchange student happened in the past. It's not an event in the future- but rather something you hold memories of.
But there's been something that has been brought to my attention. It all started by reading blogs from students who just arrived to their country for their semester program. It was followed by reading the blogs of those who are leaving next year. And what has been brought to my attention is the pre-excitement.
I can remember the excitement of the preparation. Infact, it's so much excitement it's stressful.
Thinking back to the "illusions of exchange", I wasn't thinking things would be perfect, or even close. Of course not. Orientation talks about this, as well as the fact that "the perfect life" doesn't exist. But what does that mean, not even close to perfect? Bad? No. But what?
I read a lot of blogs over the summer before leaving. It never left my mind for a second. I remember watching a video from someone's blog in Italy. She basically talked about how not everyday is a good day. I was aware of that. I completely agree. I never expected to think it would always be good. But a thought? "Well atleast just being there you learn something with the language."
I didn't get it.
We talk about things that we 'think' we understand. You might not get to be that lucky traveler, or the person who lives in a giant house. You might have really annoying siblings, or maybe none at all. You might not have good transportation, and be in the middle of nowhere. You might this, and possibly this... Adapting to culture, learning a new language, making friends, doing new activites... yeah. We think we understand what that means before we leave, when really- nothing can prepare you. There is nothing that can compare you for all the obstacles that an exchange year brings.
So some think a year is overwhelming, and pick a semester. Good choice? I think not. The more you give, the more you gain. Definitely go for a year.
So back to what I wrote on the top. A student between ages of 15-18 goes on exchange. Stays with a family. Goes to school. Hopefully, completes the year- and goes home. Everything in between is like a bonus. It's not guranteed.
For example. Your host family is legally required to give...what? Well, mine didn't sign a single paper. But in order to host- the student has to have food, their own bed, and be "like any other member of the family." So you are guarenteed a family- but are they really interested and excited to host? Do they WANT you there? Are they interested in having you? What are their reasons for having you?
They all vary. Not a one is the same.
I feel almost foolish for stressing out over what country I was accepted into. The reality is- it doesn't matter. The factor that matters is your host family. If you aren't part of a family... well... it doesn't matter which country you're in.
Within each family are things we forget about. What do they value in life? Household rules are easy to overcome. But if you don't have the same values? That gets quite a bit trickier.
Same with school. How does it work? What is the mentality of the kids? And the teachers? This wasn't in any handbook... Making friends is one thing. Learning how to understand and accept their actions, thoughts, and ways of doing things? That's different. Let's not forget the fact that you might not even understand what they are saying until halfway through your stay. Or you understand enough to know what they're saying... but don't understand why. School is where you physically spend most of your time during the day. Don't ever, ever forget that when picking a country.
For example. Teachers in Spain can give out any grade they want without questioning. Fair? You tell me.
This is also why I say going TO the states is completely different that going FROM the states. School is a huge part of your experience. The states? This is what I've found. And I can't speak for all, but only from what I know. We have teachers who like to teach. They will willingly help an eager student. We get homework daily. This helps when trying to learn a language. We have technology... some schools more than others. We have school sports, clubs. This helps you get involved with other kids. There's school spirit. You feel like part of a big 'family.' There's a lot of differences in the school- and this amounts for a ton of your exchange year.
And don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying the the USA is better or worse than another country. I'm saying it how it is. When you don't have the things- the things you are used to having- you find yourself in a completely different world. From scratch. Any country you go to has new things the states doesn't. The states isn't superior to any other country. It's distinct. And going from one distinction to another is what the exchange experience is all about.
Before I left, I didn't know what to expect. Here's an example. How can you imagine school in a foreign country, if you don't know how it is? So let's say you know a few things. It's typical to take your current situation/surroundings and subsitute what you know, with what you have. This is where the culture shock comes in. It's not substituting. It's starting from scratch.
My school experience has been very, very good for me. I will never look at my American school the same again. Infact, I've had 'daydreams', if you call them, about the first day next year. I can see myself walking in... pretty lost.
Culture to culture will vary the big differences. Some schools are quite different, while some family/customs have a more dramatic difference. And nothing of different is bad. It's simply different than what you had before.
Back to the list. 1, 2, & 3 are pretty simple. Then school. And what next?
Some-type-of-change-somewhere.
Some people call it adapting, whiles others call it maturing, growth, or acceptance. Every student varies. Not a single student will have the same of anything. But somehow, somewhere, you are guarenteed to change in some way. And like they say- the more you give, the more you get. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward.
If you were on a year vacation, you wouldn't be learning much.
You grow depending on the challenges you are given.
And finally, coming home. I'm not home yet, but as time draws closer you can't help but think what life's going to be like. The same, but changed? How? The physical differences? Mental? Still unknown.
Why is all this so difficult to explain? Because not everyone gets it. And some get it, but completely disagree. And some have even been on exchange, and have discovered a completely different world. And that's my point. Not a single exchange is the same. Some of the comments mentioned are about my exchange, while I have combined factors from others as well.
We learn, we grow.
Set the bar high, get there, ...and you will never, ever want to lower it again
-mb
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