"America is Weird."

The post we've all been waiting for. 

What is the reverse culture shock?


But first let's start in chronological order. The trip home.

Wednesday I woke up at about 8:00AM and caught my bus at 10:15AM for Madrid. (4 hours of sleep) The goodbye wasn't that dramatic, as there wasn't many emotions but it was sad because our exchaneg year is over. I've only been with this host family for five months, and I can't say that we all got really close- like the others students did who had been with the same family all year. There were no goodbye parties, surprises, etc. But I'll keep it positive and say that I am lucky to have them for my last five months. It was moving seeing the younger host siblings of other students, and how attached they are to their newest family member. It's a hard concept to grasp. Being a host family before, I know what it's like. It's hard. Really hard. The goodbye is the worst part of exchange.

Chillin at the Madrid orientation site. Back to were it all started.
I think we played cards for about five hours at this table back in September.

So we arrived at the south bus station in Madrid around 3:30PM. It was a long ride. There we waited at the platform for more than... an hour? I forgot. Somehow AFS had that our bus came in later than it did, so they didn't come and get us until that time. We met the other students who were waiting inside, and just kind of chilled there until the last student came in. All the AFS Spain students were coming in on train or bus- the longest (that I know of) being an 8 hour bus ride from Cantabria. We all met at a hostel in Madrid- which happened to be the same one we were at in the beginning of the year. It was really cool, adding a classic before and after sense. 

Thankfully we didn't have many orientation activities. Everyone was pretty tired and just wanted to talk to one another. All the countries that went to Spain were there together, and it was really nice to see everyone again. We spoke in both languages- Spanish to the majority but also English. (the Americans are quite.. proud? to speak English) There are so many English speakers it's amazing. From non-English speaking countries that is. Kids from other countries speak their native language, English, and now Spanish. And of course the Catalan kids were amazing the rest of us with their Catalan. Two languages in one year? Incredible.

The night was filled with flag signing, card games, pictures (there are some VERY photo talented exchangers) weighting suitcases for the final time (thank you Sarah for bringing the hand scale (?) needless to say it was very helpful.) drinking coffee, dancing, etc. Some slept for a few hours, but if you were like me you never touched a bed, and pulled an all-nighter until 6:00AM Thursday when we headed off to the airport.

We left in two groups, ours was the first to ship out in the morning. Saying goodbye one bye one was really sad and depressing, and got kind of old after awhile really. I made so many good friends here, seeing them leave one after another was not fun. At all.

Caroline with all her bags unloading at Barajas. 6:30am.

Us Americans finally made it to the Swiss Airlines check-in. Before they even got there, kids were weighing their suitcases on the scales that weren't being used, reorganizing things, etc. I weighed my smaller suitcase, which was at 17 kilos. TOMA! was the first thing that came out of my mouth, as I was more or less bouncing off the walls that I had so much "weight" left in that suitcase. My bigger one was over 2 kilos at 25, so I did some rearranging- as my backpack was a bit over as well. It turns out they didn't even weight ANYTHING. I was completely shocked. They weighed everyone else's that I saw though.

On the flight to Switzerland- Me, Andrew, and Alex.

So we caught our plane which was supposed to leave at 9:35am. It wasn't until we arrived to Zurich, Switzerland that I realized we left over an hour late. There we were supposed to switch planes for JFK Airport. Our group kid of left in...smaller groups, as everyone just headed on their own for the next gate. Us being last, we were racing the clock to get there on time. Let's just say we flew through the walking platforms, tram, and some forms in order to make our flight. But I was pretty disappointed we didn't get any spare time to check out the airport once again.

The flight to Switzerland was about two hours or so. And to JFK about...eight? You kind of loose track of time in the sky. We arrived at JFK at what had to of been around 4PM?

And for the first time in over three hundred days, we were back in the United States of America.

Flying over the States- the best group picture
I could get of us after an exhausting trip.

Customs was next. It was the first time we were able to look at each other and think- "We're not foreign anymore."

We all packed into the "US Residence/Citizen line." It was there that speaking in Spanish was oh-so-much more exciting. I mean we were clearly American. High schoolers. Speaking in a different language.

How many times do you experience that? A big group of American high schoolers, in America, speaking a different language, as if it was nothing?

We got some weird looks.

Baggage claim was kind of hectic. There was no plan, but many had to run to their next flight. AFS volunteers met us right when we walked out, along with the parents of some of the kids who were from the area. The signs, smiles, tears, and above all just general atmosphere was moving. It's not like there was a ton of people waiting, but enough to set the mood home.

Caroline and our luggage. I'm not really sure what I would have done without her.
And yes. We are missing one fifty pound suitcase in this picture...

I was able to meet my friend's family, which was really awesome. After I said goodbye I had my final flight from JFK to Minneapolis/St. Paul. I don't think there were any pictures taken after this point. There's a good reason there aren't mirrors everywhere in an airport. Probably for the better.

At this point everyone but the other girl from Minnesota was gone. We were lucky enough to be on the same flight. But let me say- speaking English was weird. The only time I spoke English to someone was if they were another exchange student (age 15-18) with a possible exception of someone from AFS. Anytime else I was on the phone or using Skype. So seeing adults, older adults, kids, or toddlers speaking English?! Mind-blowing. And I had never, ever been asked by a clerk anything in English all year.

It's strange. My best attempt to explain it all is this. Example: The flight attendants from Swiss Airlines speak German and English. They spoke to us in English. But it was the first time anyone who was waiting on us spoke to us in English. So it's like your brain can't process the fact that you have to use that part of vocabulary in English, or that you are supposed to speak back to them in English. For ten months we had been training our brains to think, speak, respond, and listen- in Spanish. And block out English. So it was reverse.

But everything still came out in Spanish.

It didn't matter if it was "thank you", "yes," or numbers, it all came out in Spanish. We could be having a conversation in English with the person next to us- but when the flight attendants came around, words just came out in Spanish.

It was strange.

Same at the JFK airport, where we once again were able to use American Dollars. I'll try not to dwell on the subject too much, but the United State of America is CHEAP.

It's cheap to the point where somewhere down inside, it makes you almost angry. It's so dramatic. You can but two drinks and meals for the price of one in Spain. And this was the "expensive" food sold in airports.

I called my parents, who happened to be sitting in the basement at home and at work due to a tornado.

A tornado?!

Yeah. It turns out that no one actually knows if it was a tornado, but just a huge storm with anywhere from 80-150MPH (it's in MILES!) winds.

Technical issues caused a 30 minute delay, and while in the air our plane had to circle up north (extra 30 min.) to circle around the storm. In all the flight was about three hours or so. Completely exhausted, I met my family at baggage claim.

Unable to drive home, Saturday morning started the three hour trip home.

PART TWO.

"America is Weird." -AFS Student.

I'll say it a million times to make it clear. The things that we do, what we say, how we act, it's all just very weird. Unique. Different. So does that make it wrong? Noooo! But here is what I experienced.

JFK Airport. THE TAXI'S ARE YELLOW! And not just yellow like I remembered them. They are like BRIGHT, bright yellow. Wow. And of course the cars in general are a bit bigger, but nothing too dramatic.

The greeting. In Spain they use the two cheek kisses. This was quite strange for me at first. But now? I'm totally confused and lost. What do we do, like shake hands? Sure, ok. But it's a bit weird to shake someone's hand who's your age or younger. And a hug is only for the people you know. But this is something that still confuses me. I suppose the greeting is just nothing. Just awkwardly standing there, with maybe a smile followed by a "hi" and possibly the wave of hand.

I am so confused.

Arriving at the hotel. PEOPLE TALK TO US! They ask how we are doing, if we need any help, side chat, etc. It's day six in the states and I'm still getting used to this. In Spain it's very much to the point. There's no side comments, conversation, nothing. What you need, and nothing more.

People talk to us, IN ENGLISH! There were two big points I noticed. 

1.  It should be normal, but for our ears it's just not. We are not accustomed to hearing so much English. 

2. The side conversation. Even if no one is speaking TO you, everyone around you is. In a way I felt like everyone was yelling at me, without...yelling..at..me. It kind of just set me back listening to the guys in the lounge talk about the game on TV.

Going home. The gas station we stopped at? I cannot wrap my head around how CHEAP everything is. My brain of course hasn't automatically stopped converting, so whenever I see dollars I convert it into euros. The guy at the counter was kind of freaking me out. Just the fact that you make conversation with a stranger? I don't get it. Like, why? You are there, you buy something, and leave. What else does someone need to tell you besides how much you owe them? This one is taking me a bit to get used to.

Phones. WE CAN USE THEM! My friend borrowed mine at the airport, and your automatic instinct is to not let someone use it, because it's too expensive. My American phone was turned on again by the time I got to JFK. It's a weird panic feeling if they start to use your phone for more than two minutes. That is just something else that I have to retrain myself- It's not the end of the world if someone uses my phone. Once, twice, or a hundred times I have a plan that doesn't spend my life savings.

I once wrote a blog about substitution. How you can't do it when comparing two cultures. The fact that I come home through a garage door isn't weird. It's my American home, and it doesn't weird me out that I have a garage here. Just like the other things. It's not weird we have an office. Or a dryer. Those things are normal. It's weird to retrain your brain, actions, words, and even mentality.

So here is what I first noticed. The door handle. I had no clue this was going to be different- but walking inside I just about took the handle right off the door. The door handles in my Spanish house must have been forcefully harder to open.

Day six, and I'm still getting used to the handles.

All throughout the house I have to be a bit careful that I don't rip off the handle. It's also significantly lower on the door, so I'll find myself searching for the handle a bit when I'm not paying too much attention.

The bathroom. The sinks are deeper here. Maybe a bit narrower too. It's a house to house difference. I'm sure our next door neighboor's house in either country could have something different. Or like the handles on the kitchen cabinets are smaller in my American home.

Our house here is BIG. Bigger than I remembered. But by about day five or so it's starting to feel pretty normal. My room and kitchen was bigger than I remembered.

The swingset was given to the neighbors, but unfortunately destroyed in the storm. You notice the little things like new tableware, pictures, etc.

And walking into my room was like Christmas. I HAVE CLOTHES! Amazing. Along with a bunch of other things I forgot we had. Like team pictures, certain clocks, the random things.

A very American week.

So most of these things happened within the first three days of me being home. After walking halfway up the stairs in my flip-flops, I realized that I had forgotten to take my shoes off. So I've been walking around the house without shoes feeling a bit strange.

I forgot my travel sized contact solution in the hostel we stayed at, opened new contacts Sunday morning, and forgot to buy more solution once I got home. So...late Sunday night around oh...11:30 or so, I was able to "aprovechar" (take advantage of) the good old Wal-Mart open 24/7. That would never happen in Spain. Sunday night? You better be joking.

• I freely open my refrigerator door without shoes or 'the fear of dying'.
• Using the different outlets with lower voltage.
• Played the piano. (Apartments and pianos call for angry neighbors..)
• I DRIVE! Surprisingly it's not strange. It all comes back and is like you never left it. I've also taken what I've learned from the small streets of Spain and let the pedestrians cross when they have the right of way. I look at street crossings completely different now.
• Texting conversations. I am horrible at replying. I don't like being with my phone all the time, and don't see any point in short, useless texts. I suppose I'm still mentally retraining my brain that it's ok to use my phone.
• Seeing all the pictures on my home computer that I didn't have with me on my laptop was nice.
• It's true. Sizes are just bigger here. A large here doesn't exhist in Spain. I forgot how big things really were here. Beverage size, food quantity, etc.
• Familiar sounds again. The lawn mower, creaking of wood stairs (we had hard tile/marble in Spain), etc.
• I forgot the radio station that I usually listen to. It took me about ten minutes by myself to remember it.
• Everything here is GREEN, did I mention that? I guess suffering from mosquitos evens it out though.
• The is a lot more space between the houses than I remembered.
• People wear like...whatever. Oversized clothes, sportswear, and all. We don't make much of an effort to dress up...
• Went rollerblading! That was a first since I've been here. Also went ot my first hockey practice. And I was surprised, because like the driving, it all comes back. You pick up where you left off. Sure muscle memory lacks a bit and I'll have to get back into shape, but everything else just comes.
• Enjoyed the health care system as I returned to get a regular shot. Technology, my friends, is somethin' else.
• Used a dishwasher for the first time in ten months.
• Had the first running shower... in a long time.

So that's all I really have at the moment. And really they are differences, but they aren't a big deal. The biggest thing for me is just how I look at things in general. I mean, our town seems smaller, and the Minnesotan accents are really thick, but besides that, things are right where they left off.

Some things take time though. Like the fact I have a 700page ACT test study book waiting for me to open or need to go by the school to sort out class credits are things to come shortly.

You can't see half the luggage in the picture. But we made it.
Back on American soil in the first hour. Notice the Madrid map and Spanish flag.

The way I look at Americans has really changed. We sit here and wonder- "How could you ever go abroad?" When really, people come to the states and could wonder why anyone would want to come to our country. People are people. Whether they are American, Spanish, Australian, Japanese, Italian, or Norweigan, people are still people. And when you travel that's what you find. So how dare we think our "people" are better than others? How dare we think that our culture is better than others? How dare we think that traveling the world is something we shouldn't do?

We are ignorant, and that is all. We imagine ourselves as number one and everyone below. There is no other explanation. Can for once, the mentality of the people be that other cultures may have more reason or rhyme than ours?

Only after the first few days I am already getting tired of answering "the question."

"How was Spain?"

LIKE, A MILLION TIMES.

Those of you who know my real story would definitely explain it differently than someone who just hears about the good things. The fun stuff. Because when someone asks you "the question," they probably aren't really interested. It's like a question they feel like they have to ask since it's the obvious road block causing your presence something to talk about. And if you mention a blog? Something that requires work from them to read? Forget it. All interest is lost.

You come back, and the people don't really notice. They say it's good to have you, act interested, but the reality is- they turn away and forget about what was said. Like small talk. You'll get your real friends or family who want to know what your year abroad was like, but for the most part-

Your year is just a conversation topic for them.

AFS MADRID 2010-2011

"It was good. Pretty interesting, but overall a good experience."

-mb